Cow Jokes!

Horse Jokes/Cow Jokes

OK — enough talk about Horse Rides. Let’s get into some jokes!

I work with horses — both my own and my client’s. I’m a farrier, which means I trim barefoot hooves and, when necessary, I shape, fit and nail on horseshoes. But years ago I milked cows on several fragrant dairy farms in Enumclaw, Washington.

Jokes intrigue me — partly because I’m not that funny of a person — I rarely remember jokes. But also, as a writer, I realize that someone took the time to come up with the things. And then they got remembered, and then they got spread around.

And I wondered, can anyone write jokes?

Can I?

So one stone-black night while riding my horses (and getting a little frightened in the darkness that particular spooky night) I decided to try my hand at writing jokes. Just to calm my nerves and give my mind a place to go.

I began with Horse Jokes.

~~~

What did the chestnut say to the palomino?
What’s up, pal?

Why did the Dressage horse break up with the Western horse?
He couldn’t hack-amore.

Peter, Peter pumpkin whopper
Had a horse and couldn’t stop her
Put her in a Kimberwick
And then he stopped her REAL QUICK!

What do you call a stuck-up wound?
Proud flesh.

Why did the pony gallop across the meadow?
He tried to narrow the field.

~~~

You get the idea. Nothing great — but it was a start.

Then, a couple weeks later, I decided to shift to Cow Jokes. That’s when I realized how much funnier cows are than horses!

So here are a few of my favorite ORIGINAL Cow Jokes:

~~~

What do you say to a cow who plays the harp?
Holy Cow!

Why did the heifer* take off her sweater?
She came into heat.

(*heifer: a young female cow)

What do cows in the Himalaya Mountains produce?
Frozen Yogurt.

Where do the Mormon cows like to hang out?
Salt Lick City.

What is the biggest problem facing modern cows today?
Bull shit!

What kind of lashes communicate kindness?
Eyelashes.

Why did the cow refuse to be milked?
Her bag bombed.

I’ve heard of a fat cat, but what do you call a fat cow?
Heavy Cream.

What kind of cake do cows like for their birthday?
Cheese Cake.

~~~

So there you have it. I know it’s a bit much, but I’ve brainstormed 17 pages of Cow Jokes so far…

And just to lighten things up, I’ll be interspersing a few Cow, Farrier, Horse Jokes along the way.

Hope that helps!

Moooooo!

(Really get into it — I hope you’ll “Moooooo!” with the correct bovine head-toss, pitch, intonation and accent, by the way…)

Dawn

Red Cow

~~~

Please come over to Dawn’s Life blog — Journal of Dawn — for Strategies and Insights into the Journey of Life from the vantage point of a Lady Farrier.

Cloud Ball Bogenvillia

~~~

Copyright 2013

5 responses to “Cow Jokes!

  1. My fav is “What do you call a fat cow?” Heavy cream. I’m a terrible joke teller, but I think that one is concise enough that I can actually remember the whole thing. 🙂

  2. Bari Moulin

    I was in the “mooo-ood” for some puns/jokes!!! 🙂

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